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Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Celebrant Information A Wedding Celebrant is a person who helps you celebrate your love and create something truly special for your Ceremony. The UK is one of the only countries where the ‘registration’ of your marriage has been traditionally carried out alongside the confines of a restrictive script! Why have a standard ceremony when you can have a bespoke ceremony written for you? I am a trained professional and creative who loves to write your story. Bespoke handwritten ceremonies in your chosen location to celebrate your story. With me as a Celebrant, there are no rules. Celebrants change that thinking by separating the ‘registration’ and saying of statutory wording, by the writing and conducting a Ceremony which is unique to you. Beware however, that there are also Celebrants who only work from a ‘sample’ or template script. They change your name, and then conduct your Ceremony. I am not that person. My fellow professional Celebrants and I have been trained to write individual ceremonies Traditional or not? Religious or not? Spiritual or not? With me as your Celebrant, there are no rules! I am a writer and love the creativity of writing each and every individual ceremony script. I take great pride in getting to know you as a couple, finding out about your love story and creating a connection between us which helps me to write and create a truly unique ceremony for you. By the time I perform your ceremony, we will feel like old friends and that also reflects on the day itself. There will be no other ceremony like it, it is truly individual and my aim is that your guests will be speaking about it and saying things like, ‘I’ve never been to a ceremony like that before’. Memories which are truly precious. My job is not as easy as you might imagine and is so much more than speaking for 30-40 minutes on your wedding day. I love getting to know you, to hear your story and guide you spiritually / emotionally / physically / psychologically through one of the most publically emotional moments of your life. If this sounds like it is for you, then it is so, so important to choose a Wedding Celebrant who can really celebrate the depth and breadth of the your story, your awesomeness and your unique relationship. Let me help make your ceremony the true centre of your day, the beginning of wonderful celebrations with your family and friends Unique. A celebration of you. Handwritten. Every time.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding Ceremony Hints and Tips Writing your Wedding Vows can seem like a daunting task! I have come up with a methodology that is tried and tested and ensures you can write memorable vows that reflect you, your relationship, your love and will engage your guests too! Bespoke Wedding Ceremony I ask a series of questions on my questionnaire that, once answered, mean you write your vows with ease. I also talk with you about how you feel about sharing your vows on the day itself. It is a very special and memorable moment and my advice is that, if you can, having waited to share those vows with each other on the day, say them to each other. However, I know from experience, that for some of my couples, the thought of this is utter hell. That isn’t a problem, lots of my couples who feel this way, ask me to share the vows in the form of, ‘Do you promise ….’ to which they reply, ‘I do’. One couple actually were so nervous that they didn’t want to repeat the ring exchange words either, and that is fine too. My role is to make sure that you feel completely happy with all elements of your ceremony. Your ceremony is your choice. There are no rules with me as your Celebrant. Exchange your vows and promises the way you want.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding Ceremony Hints and Tips USING A CELEBRANT MEANS YOU HAVE THE CEREMONY YOU WANT, DESIGNED AROUND YOU AND THERE ARE MANY DECISIONS TO MAKE. Choosing your readers adds another level of personalisation to your day. I WORK CLOSELY WITH MY COUPLES TO DISCUSS ALL THE OPTIONS AVAILABLE AND SOME WHICH ARE JUST WHOLLY UNIQUE TO THEM. IT IS A ‘CONSTRUCTION’ – WE START BY SHARING IDEAS, BOUNCING THEM AROUND AND IT ALL COMES TOGETHER OVER A PERIOD OF TIME. ONE OF THE THINGS THAT MY COUPLES ALWAYS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IS HOW TO CHOOSE PEOPLE TO READ. Choose your guests to read and either choose what they will read or have me liaise with them to surprise you on the day. MAYBE IT COULD BE GIVING FAMILY OR FRIENDS A SPECIAL PART TO PLAY. MAYBE IT IS A READING RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE WHO CAN’T BE THERE BUT COULD BE READ BY SOMEONE ELSE. MAYBE IT IS ONE OF YOUR SMALLER GUESTS WHO WANTS TO PLAY A ROLE. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS! THE FIRST THING TO THINK ABOUT IS WHETHER THAT PERSON FEELS COMFORTABLE READING. PERHAPS THEY WOULD THEY LIKE TO WRITE SOMETHING TO READ? DO YOU WANT TO CHOOSE WHAT THEY READ OR HAND THE DECISION OVER TO THEM? Children often learn pieces from heart – I have lots of suggestions for readings suitable for little ones. JEN & ROBERT’S AUNT HAD WRITTEN A FABULOUS POEM, PAM AYRES STYLE, WHICH WAS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT AND HAD ALL THE GUESTS AND BRIDE AND GROOM LAUGHING. The people who read are your choice THIS YEAR THERESA & PAUL’S BRIDESMAID, TERRI, HAS WRITTEN A BEAUTIFUL POEM WHICH WILL BE READ AS A SURPRISE. If that is your personality! IF YOU PUT ‘WEDDING READINGS’ INTO GOOGLE, THERE ARE LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF POSSIBILITIES. ON MY BLOG, I HAVE ADDED SEVERAL POSSIBLES CHOOSING CATEGORIES SUCH AS FUNNY, TRADITIONAL, ALTERNATIVE, SPIRITUAL ETC. THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding Ceremony Hints and Tips Remembering your loved ones on your special day is an extremely personal thing. Loosing those closest too you can come into focus and feel more raw and thus, finding a way to honour and remember them can be a special way to pay tribute to their memory.. A family remembrance wall with photographs to pay tribute to those who have passed. I have taken some popular ideas from Pinterest recognising that you need to find something which resonates with you. Think of how emotional the gesture will feel to you. Some couples want their loved ones absence acknowledged during the ceremony itself, some prefer a gesture such as a small posy on a chair allows them to acknowledge and honour without the raw emotion.? Save the chairs with photographs of your loved ones who can’t be there. Remembrance charms in your bouquet or cufflinks provides a beautiful and subtle way to remember. Other recent choices included a heart shaped piece of fabric from the bride’s late mother stitched next to the heart in the bride’s dress Special fabric sewn inside your dress to remember your loved one. Sewn inside the dress or jacket – fabric from their dress in the shape of a heart.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding Ceremony Hints and Tips Definitely not an essential item but worth considering to double up as fans, I have several couples this year who will use programmes for their guests who speak other languages to be able to follow along or read essential parts of the ceremony. There is a wonderful selection on Pinterest and Etsy and all photos used here have been taken from those sites. www.pinterest.com and www.etsy.com. Things you might want to include Your names Of course! THANK YOU WISHES This is a perfect chance to thank your guests for travelling to be with you on your special day. It is lovely to add a line or two to thank them for making the journey and being there to share this special moment. The perfect accompaniment to your bespoke wedding ceremony UNPLUGGED CEREMONY ANNOUNCEMENT Have you decided whether you want an unplugged ceremony? It is a very personal choice and here, your programme or fan is a great place to add a short message asking your guests to put down their mobile phones and cameras so as to be fully there to witness your ceremony. On the other hand, you may wish to see all those candid shots. Have a chat and make sure you think about each option. Have you considered a wedding hashtag so guests can post pics to your Instagram? ORDER OF CEREMONY Most Celebrants break the wedding ceremony up into sections so this might be a nice addition. Typically it might look like this although each is individual: Highlight the key players of the day. Use it to say thank you to important guests. WEDDING PARTY INCLUDING FLOWER GIRLS AND RING BEARERS Naming each member of your wedding party is a lovely way to acknowledge them and their contribution to you wedding day. SONG CHOICES Listing your song choices can be a nice touch. CELEBRANT, MUSICIAN/DJ, FLORIST, WEDDING PLANNER Consider giving credit to the wedding professionals who are helping your wedding ceremony come to life. FAMILY MEMBERS: GRANDPARENTS, PARENTS, SIBLINGS It is also common to list the parents of the wedding couple, but I’ve also seen wedding programmes that include grandparents. It’s a lovely way to acknowledge them and the impact they have made on your lives. REMEMBRANCES Similar to the above, you might also want to add a section to highlight those family members who have passed. A remembrance section is a lovely way to acknowledge your ancestors and those who are there in spirit. You can also use it to acknowledge those who can’t be with you for other reasons. READINGS You have two options when it comes to readings: you can simply add the title and author of the reading and the reader’s name in the order of the ceremony, but consider adding the entire reading to the back of the program so your guests can read along and really digest the meaning of the poem. Particularly nice in a bi-lingual ceremony where you could add the reading or vows in the language of your guests. SONG LYRICS Another option is to include the lyrics of a song that either a guest will be singing during the ceremony or the lyrics of the entrance or exit songs that have special meaning to you. Would you like to encourage your guests to have a mid-ceremony sing-a-long so the lyrics for example? A MEANINGFUL QUOTE If you have the room on the program and you’re not sure what else to add, consider adding a quote that has special meaning to you both. Maybe it represents your feelings about marriage, or maybe it’s a funny quote that you and your sweetheart say all the time. FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU AS A COUPLE This is a great thing to include and gives your guests who arrive early something fun to read while they’re waiting for the ceremony to begin. Adding fun facts also helps your couples feel closer to you and helps personalise your wedding day even more. DATE, VENUE AND LOCATION Wedding programmes often double as souvenirs, so considering add the date, time, wedding venue and town in which you’re getting married. ORDER OF EVENTS FOR THE REST OF THE WEDDING DAY Along the same lines as the last idea, you can use the programme to list the timings and order of events for the rest of the day. YOUR WEDDING HASHTAG As above, if you have a wedding hashtag, don’t forget to include your wedding hashtag on your programme! Check out Pinterest for wedding programme and fan examples. Fans are particularly helpful for weddings in Spain as they serve a double purpose as well as giving your guests a lovely souvenir to take away! The perfect keepsake for your wedding ceremony Check out Pinterest for wedding programme and fan examples. Fans are particularly helpful for weddings in Spain as they serve a double purpose as well as giving your guests a lovely souvenir to take away!

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding Ceremony Hints and Tips Have you heard of ‘unplugged weddings’? There is a Facebook rant by Thomas Stewart of Australia, who explained all the reasons why phones, tablets and selfie sticks are ruining weddings. His Facebook post has had over 121k likes and 88k shares. Do you want your guests to be fully present? I work hard to ensure the choreography will work perfectly for your wedding photographer and videographer. I know that they will do their best to avoid those guests that decide to become a photographer for the day, however it can sometimes become really difficult and those beautiful wedding photos of you walking down the aisle can be ruined. Will your guests get in the way of your photographer’s shot? WHAT DOES ‘UNPLUGGED WEDDING’ MEAN? An unplugged wedding is where you ask your guests to unplug from their tech either for the duration of the ceremony or for the day. An unplugged wedding encourages your guests to enjoy the moment and be fully present instead of checking their phones, taking photos and uploading to Facebook or Instagram in an instant. How do you feel about them taking photos and sharing them on social media? It is certainly a conversation you need to have before the day. A perfect shot which shows exactly why couples choose an unplugged wedding. SOCIAL MEDIA With social media an everyday part of most people’s lives, do you want the photos taken by guests posted on Instagram or Facebook before you have walked back down the aisle as husband and wife? Do you want to turn your phone on at the end of the day and have notifications of photos you have been tagged in? This is your wedding day and you should be able to choose what is shared and who shares it. There are many apps that you can ask guests to upload their photos to so you can share when and if you choose to do so. You want your guests to enjoy the day, and be part of it. I saw some research which says that we are the most photographed generation but you haven’t invited your family and friends along to take photos and be a photographer for the day, you have a professional for that. Check out Pinterest for lots of sign suggestions. SHOULD YOU BAN GUESTS FROM PHONES AND CAMERAS? The word ban may sound a little strong, but it actually isn’t about banning them, it is about getting your guest to understand that you have a professional wedding photographer there to capture all of the special moments ready for you to view them once ready. You want your guests to understand that you want them to be there and enjoy the moment. The other side of this argument is that you may miss those candid moments which guests may capture. It is such a personal choice and one that only you as a couple should make. There are some wonderful signs to advise your guests to not use their phones or camera while the ceremony takes place. You might want to add a little message and note to your invite, or maybe ask them not to share to social media until the next day for instance. Check out Pinterest for lots of examples. Unplugged wedding signs. UNPLUGGED – A VIDEO WHICH SUMS IT ALL UP! This video posted up on YouTube by SLF weddings sums up and illustrates why you might choose to go unplugged, and why you might want your guests to put the phones down and enjoy the moment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6tCzbmFCNY[/embedyt] UNPLUGGED WEDDINGS. YOUR CHOICE.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding Ceremony Hints and Tips Having a Destination Wedding in Spain means heat. Beautiful backdrops, blue skies and sunshine and a real holiday atmosphere. I’ve put together this blog to help you consider some of the items you may need or want to consider for your guests, so that they are comfortable. A perfect shot which shows exactly why couples choose an unplugged wedding. 1. WATER Absolutely essential to keep your guests hydrated through the heat of your wedding ceremony in Spain. Speak to your Wedding Planner who has probably already got this in hand although I couldn’t resist posting these pics of gorgeous personalised bottles! 2. SUNGLASSES Most people these days have sunglasses against the glare of the Spanish sun. I always think that, even on a dull day, it is still bright. There are lots of lovely ideas for supplying your guests who may have forgotten their shades and I’ve picked a some from Pinterest to share. Try to be mindful of plastic waste. 3. FANS Another item your guests will thank you for! From small paper fans, to coloured ones to suit your destination wedding colour scheme. Another favourite is fans used as order of the day. 4. PARASOLS Another thing to speak to your Spanish Wedding Planner about. Depending on where your wedding ceremony will take place, it is usually better to utilise other methods of shade especially from a photographers perspective. It can also make it difficult for other guests to see. 5. FLIP FLOPS You and your guests want to make the most of the long balmy nights to dance the night away, so these can be a welcome option!

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding Ceremony Hints and Tips Writing your wedding vows and promises can seem like a daunting task so I have created a tried and trusted method so that is a really process. I am going to give you some examples of real vows and promises which my couples have used and, as you will see, each and every one is different, unique and completely personal. Whether you want to read them to each other or have me lead them and just respond with, ‘I do’, the choice is yours all the way! A perfect shot which shows exactly why couples choose an unplugged wedding. EXAMPLE 1 GROOM TO BRIDE Do you promise to love her, listen to her and respect and obey her? Do you promise to be honest, passionate, caring and kind? Do you promise to listen, be tidy, close doors and fold towels the right way? Do you promise to be better around the house, pay her more attention and give her more days off? Do you promise to get up before her in the morning and bring her breakfast in bed? Do you promise to do more cooking and not burn the fishfingers? Do you promise to keep the garage tidy, finish jobs in the house and do more cooking? Do you promise not to hide boats and cars behind the garage? From this day and always. Response: I do BRIDE TO GROOM Do you promise to be his in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure? Do you promise to be loving, caring and supportive and the ‘organiser’? Do you promise to dream with XXXXX, celebrate with him and walk beside him through whatever your lives may bring? Do you promise to be faithful and supportive? Do you promise to dream with him and always put your family first? Do you promise to cook dinner for him every day and wake him up when he falls asleep on a night out? Do you promise to encourage XXXX’ dancing and make sure you have a date night at least once a month? Do you promise not to nag too much about lights left on or doors left open? Do you promise to give in and accept that there will always be various boats, camper vans and cars outside your house? From this day and always Response: I do The fabulous stairs at Casa de los Bates – you could be in Hollywood for your bespoke wedding ceremony. GROOM TO BRIDE I promise to love you, be loyal to you and protect you always. I promise to be patient, considerate and affectionate. I will always be honest and funny and try to make you laugh every day. I promise to keep cooking AMAZING dinners for you, having them ready when you come home with your favourite show playing and candles lit. I promise that I’ll continue to support you, love you and stand by your side for as long as I live. I promise to take my shoes off when going up the stairs! I promise to help you Hinch the house and try not to be too hyper in the mornings. I promise to protect you from spiders. I promise not to leave wet clothes in the washing machine or use the tumble drier instead of hanging the clothes out. I promise not to get bored when you talk about ambulance things! I promise not to gain 20 stone as soon as we’re married. But most of all, I promise to be your best friend, to hold your hand and tell you I love you every day. From this day and always. BRIDE TO GROOM I promise to love you every day, be your rock when times get hard and laugh everyday with you at your ridiculous jokes. I promise to be there for you no matter what happens, be your best friend (sorry Sean) and work hard for us and the life we’ve built together. I promise to love you as much as possible forever, to always be open and honest and to hold you up in the toughest times. I promise to respect you and be there for you in good times and bad. I promise that my nagging means I care – think of it instead as motivational speaking. I promise to try to bring you more breakfast in bed and try to improve my cringing at affection. I promise to teach you how to cook lasagne and other dishes, so you won’t need me forever. I promise not to Hinch the house as much! I will try not to ask for so many hot water bottles or make fun of your lack of facial hair! But most of all, I promise to be your best friend, to hold your hand and tell you I love you every day. From this day and always. Bespoke handwritten wedding ceremony in Seville. EXAMPLE 3 GROOM TO BRIDE I promise to care for you, always love you, and look after you and support you with all my strength for as long as I live and beyond. I promise to be a faithful, true and, above all, a loving husband to you in every way that is possible and even those ways that are not. I promise to always be there to stand at your side when you need me and think of you when we are not together. I promise to always tell you how much I love you when you wake up in the morning. I promise to continue to dance for you on command, to agree that you are the fastest, most courageous and cleverest person I know and that I will always and forever be your pigeon. I can’t promise to allow you to drive my car, sanction a joint credit card or to ever stop ranting at the TV. I do promise not to walk over your newly vacuumed carpet, never – for the love of God, never! I will try not to make a mess as soon as you have cleaned the house. I will never disagree with your outfit choices and never suggest that the rain is just passing when it quite clearly isn’t. But most of all, I promise to be your best friend, hold your hand and tell you I love you every day – from this day and always. BRIDE TO GROOM I promise to make you laugh, hold your hand when life is hard and share my happiest moments with you. I promise to be loving and kind, caring and fun. I promise to laugh with you and share many moments of silliness. I promise to always be supportive of your hopes and dreams. I will always be proud of you, support you and be your best friend. I promise to love you absolutely and always. I will go on adventures with you and drink margaritas on holiday in the sunshine with you. I promise to always join in when you dance in the kitchen. I will also help you neatly fold your shirts whenever you are packing to go away. I promise to continue to come up with new nicknames for you and feed the fish babies. I will always sing loudly in the shower despite your protestations and I know that it really makes you smile! I promise not to force you to paddle board with me again I will try not to complain that I have backache every time we visit an art gallery. I promise to try not to fall asleep in the car at the start of every car journey. But most of all, I promise to be your best friend, hold your hand and tell you I love you every day – from this day and always. Having a handwritten wedding ceremony means your celebration is as unique as you are. EXAMPLE 4 BRIDE TO BRIDE Do you promise: To love XXX forever, to cherish her every day and be faithful as long as you both shall live? Do you promise To be caring, considerate and loyal, and to be patient and loving? Do you promise: To be her best friend, cherish her and tell her you love her every day? From this day and always Response: I do BRIDE TO BRIDE Do you promise: To love XXXX forever, to cherish her every day and be faithful as long as you both shall live? Do you promise: To be her best friend, cherish her and tell her you love her every day? Do you promise: To laugh with her and appreciate her every day? From this day and always. Response: I do Please note – the photographs in this blog do not relate to the example vows. All the vows and promises examples were taken from wedding ceremonies where I was the Celebrant.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding readings I am currently working on a fabulous ceremony for a gorgeous couple who are both older and neither of them have been married before. They want to acknowledge their pasts and recognise what they bring to the table. Here are some reading suggestions for couples: Engage your guests with specially chosen readings. Why marriage? – by Dena Acolatse Because of the depths of me, I long to love one person, With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body….. Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me, Who won’t hold them against me, Who loves me when I’m unlikable, Who sees the small child in me, and Who looks for the divine potential of me…… Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night, With someone who is thankful for me, With someone I feel blessed to hold…… Because marriage means opportunity To grow in love in friendship…… Because marriage is a discipline To be added to a list of achievements……. Because marriages do not fail, people fail When they enter into marriage Expecting another to make them whole…… Because, knowing this, I promise myself to take full responsibility For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness I create me, I take half of the responsibility for my marriage Together we create our marriage….. Because with this understanding The possibilities are limitless and our love will last forever….. Sonnet 116, by William Shakespeare Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when its alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O no! it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wand’ring bark, Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken. Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle’s compass come; Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me prov’d, I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d. Love Monkey by Edward Monkton t was once the custom that every monkey would carve for himself a wooden heart. And the heart that Love Monkey carved was the most beautiful of all. Its contours were soft and rounded, like an ancient pebble sculpted by the oceans. Its surface was smooth and shiny like liquid silk, and it shone as bright as a ruby in the desert sun. “Take your hearts with you wherever you go,” said their teacher. “Nurture them as a mother nurtures her new-born baby. For when you want to give of yourself fully, your heart is the only true gift you will have.” That night, Love Monkey had a dream. He dreamt of a monkey whose smile lit up his soul like sunshine. He held out his heart to her, so radiant, so splendid and so new. She took him in her arms, and he felt truly, perfectly, at peace. When Love Monkey awoke, he resolved that, from that day forward, he would search for his Dream Monkey until he could stand before her and give to her his perfect heart. He travelled through deserts…and climbed over mountains. He trekked across forests…and sailed many oceans. Love Monkey looked after his heart as best he could, but the storms that he endured on his travels chipped away at its surface and each new adventure reshaped it. By the time he arrived on the last distant shore, his heart was so changed by the patina of time that it barely resembled his old heart at all. And then, he saw her. Standing before him, as radiant and as beautiful as the sunshine, was his Dream Monkey. At first, he could not speak. But then, from somewhere deep inside himself, he found a voice. “I have travelled the world over to find you, and to give you my heart,” he said. “But now that I am finally with you, I see how foolish I have been. You are so beautiful, so perfect. And my heart that was once so smooth, so bright and so new is now not something that I could even bring myself to show you,” and he turned to go. “Let me see it,” said Dream Monkey. She took his heart and held it up to the light. “Nothing to me is more beautiful. Every fissure tells a story. Every blemish makes you more real. All my life I have been waiting for a heart like this; a heart that speaks the truth.” “Come here,” she said. “I have something for you too.” In her hand was a tiny golden heart. It was as worn and as scratched as Love Monkey’s own…and it was the most precious thing that he had ever seen. Love Monkey put his arms around her, and they held each other for a long, long time. “I shall treasure this heart for as long as I live,” said Dream Monkey, running her fingers over its ridged and dimpled surface. Then they looked into each other’s eyes and, feeling the joy of truth in their souls for the first time, they began to laugh. And often they sit together still, holding each other’s hearts in their warm hands, lifting them to the light…and laughing. Always laughing. An Excerpt from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernières Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, It is not excitement, It is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, And this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground, And when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches, They find that they are one tree and not two. I Will Be Here, by Steven Curtis Chapman Tomorrow morning If you wake up And the sun Does not appear I will be here If in the dark We lose sight of love Hold my hand And have no fear Because I will be here I will be here When you feel like being quiet When you need To speak your mind I will listen And I will be here When the laughter turns to crying Through the winning, losing and trying We’ll be together, because I will be here Tomorrow morning If you wake up And the future Is unclear I will be here As sure as seasons Are made for change Our lifetimes Are made for years So I will be here I will be here So you can cry on my shoulder When the mirror Tells us we’re older I will hold you And I will be here To watch you grow in beauty And tell you all the things You are to me, I will be here I will be true To the promise I have made To you and to the one Who gave you to me I will be here And just as sure as seasons Are made for change Our lifetimes are made for years So I will be here We’ll be together, I will be here Philip Pullman – The Amber Spyglass I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again… I’ll be looking for you, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one will ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you… We’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams… And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we’ll be joined so tight. The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams “What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nanna came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?” “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.” “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?” “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding readings Here are ten possible examples which you could choose. The selection is just a guide.. Wedding Ceremony moments including your smallest guests. WINNIE THE POOH A. A. Milne “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” “Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh?” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.” “We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?’ asked Piglet. Even longer,’ Pooh answered.” “If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.” WEDDINGS If you go to a wedding, here’s what it means No one wears trainers and no one wears jeans Your best new clothes are all that you wear And everyone in your whole family is there Even some cousins that you’ve never known And the grown-ups all say “Oh, how much you have grown!” So everyone’s sitting in one big room (or beach) (except ***** and ******, the bridge and groom) Then all of a sudden things quieten down And music starts playing and people turn round And really slowly, ***** walks in And she’s prettier now than she’s ever been. She’s a bridge and she’s really great looking today (when normally she looks just kind of okay) She walks in and stands with her dad for a while As ***** her boyfriend, awaits in the aisle His hair is all combed and he’s wearing a tie And then *****’s mum starts to sniffle and cry. And now it comes time for the “get-married” part The Celebrant says that we’re ready to start So she talks and she talks about serious things Then their friend **** steps up holding two rings He gives one to the groom and the other to the bride Then his girlfriend, ****** pulls him aside. Then ****** and ****** kind of look at each other And another big sniffle comes from ******’s mother And ***** and ***** put on the wedding rings And they talk and they promise each other some things They promise that they’ll love each other a lot And help one another no matter what And be with each other the rest of their life Then the Celebrant says “Now you are husband and wife”. Then everyone’s in such a big happy mood And you go to a party with very much food Where you dance with some grown-ups and drink some wine And then do a conga-dance in one long line ‘till ***** and ****** drive off in ****** and everyone’s thinking how happy they are So we all yell goodbye and throw handfuls of rice Then the whole thing is over. Weddings are nice! TODAY IS A DAY Today is a day you will always remember The greatest in anyone’s life You’ll start off the day just two people in love And end it as husband and wife It’s a brand new beginning, the start of a journey With moments to cherish and treasure And although there’ll be times when you both disagree These will surely be outweighed by pleasure You’ll have heard many words of advice in the past When the secrets of marriage were spoken But you know that the answers lie hidden inside Where the bond of true love is unbroken So live happy forever as lovers and friends It’s the dawn of a new life for you As you stand there together with love in your eyes From the moment you whisper “I do” And with luck all your hopes and your dreams can be real May success find its way to your hearts Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys But today is the day it all starts Anonymous OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO BY DR SEUSS Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go. You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street. And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too. Oh! The Places You’ll Go! You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights. You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don’t. Because, sometimes, you won’t. You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.) Kid, you’ll move mountains! So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way! WHAT COLOUR IS LOVE BY LINDA STRACHAN “What colour is love?” asked Small Smooth and Grey “Could it be green?” Said old wrinkly granddad “I’m not sure if that’s true the grass is green, so love might be blue” “What colour is love?” asked Small Smooth and Grey “Could it be blue?” Tiger turned over and rolled on his back “I don’t know little fellow but the sky is blue, maybe love could be yellow?” “What colour is love?” asked Small Smooth and Grey “Could it be yellow?” Lion looked up too tired to play, he yawned and then said “but this hot sun is yellow, isn’t love red?” “What colour is love?” asked Small Smooth and Grey “Could it be red?” Parrot looked down from his perch in the tree, “Red is for flowers, but love is so bright It’s really quite simple, love must be white!” “What colour is love?” asked Small Smooth and Grey “Could it be white?” But Zebra said, “Nooooooo Love isn’t white, I think Love is so wonderful it must be pink!” “What colour is love?” asked Small Smooth and Grey “Could it be pink?” “Pink?” screeched flamingo “No that can’t be right, Love should be orange like the sunset at night.” Tired and worn out at the end of the day,“I know who to ask” said Small Smooth and Grey. He left the Flamingo with tall slender legs, and passed by the zebra by the old river bed. Lion had gone from his rock in the sun, and Tiger out hunting set off for a run. He went to the water and dipped in his toe, he said to his mother “Does nobody know? I’ve tried ALL of the colours; from the grass to the flowers, from the sky to the clouds ,to the sun up above, But NO ONE could tell me the colour of love.” “What colour is love?” I say little one; Its as dark as the night and as bright as the sun, Imagine a colour and love is right there, Love’s every colour, everything, everywhere. “What colour is love? Every colour, all around… Because nothing else matters when it’s love that you’ve found.” SOME THINGS GO TOGETHER BY CHARLOTTE ZOLOTOW Pairs of things that go together. Pigeons with park Stars with dark Sand with sea and you with me. … Hats with heads Pillows with beds Sky with blue and me with you. Beautiful moments – I wrote a poem which I read as Mikey walked his Mummy down the aisle. AN EXTRACT FROM THE VELVETEEN RABBIT BY MARGERY WILLIAMS ‘What is REAL?’ asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender before Nana came to tidy the room. ‘Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?’ ‘Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When someone loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’ ‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit. ‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’ ‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’ ‘ It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.’ ‘I suppose you are real?’ said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse only smiled. ‘Someone made me Real,’ he said. ‘That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.’ THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT BY EDWARD LEAR The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat They took some honey, and plenty of money Wrapped up in a five–pound note The Owl looked up to the stars above And sang to a small guitar ‘O lovely puddy tat! O puddy tat, my love, What a beautiful puddy tat you are, You are You are! What a beautiful puddy tat you are!’ puddy tat said to Owl ‘You elegant fowl!’ How charmingly sweet you sing! O let us be married! Too long we have tarried But what shall we do for a ring?” They sailed away, for a year and a day To the land where the Bong-Tree grows And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood With a ring at the end of his nose His nose His nose! With a ring at the end of his nose. ‘Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling Your ring?’ Said the Piggy, ‘I will.’ So they took it away and were married next day By the turkey who lives on the hill They dined on mince, and slices of quince Which they ate with a runcible spoon And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand They danced by the light of the moon The moon The moon! They danced by the light of the moon. ON YOUR WEDDING DAY (UNKNOWN) Today is a day you will always remember The greatest in anyone’s life You’ll start off the day just two people in love And end it as Husband and Wife It’s a brand new beginning, the start of a journey With moments to cherish and treasure And although there’ll be times when you both disagree These will surely be outweighed by pleasure You’ll have heard many words of advice in the past When the secrets of marriage were spoken But you know that the answers lie hidden inside Where the bond of true love lies unbroken So live happy forever as lovers and friends It’s the dawn of a new life for you As you stand there together with love in your eyes From the moment you whisper ‘I do’ And with luck all your hopes and your dreams can be real May success find its way to your hearts Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys But today is the day it all starts. LOVE IS GIVING (ANON) Love is giving, not taking, mending, not breaking, trusting, believing, never deceiving, patiently bearing and faithfully sharing each joy, every sorrow, today and tomorrow. Love is kind, understanding, but never demanding. Love is constant, prevailing, its strength never failing. A promise once spoken for all time unbroken, Love’s time is forever.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding readings I have chosen 10 funny readings to get you thinking about the types of readings you can choose for your ceremony. Guaranteed to put a smile on your guests faces, they can reflect your personalities and relationship. I Rely On You by Hovis Presley I rely on you like a camera needs a shutter like a gambler needs a flutter like a golfer needs a putter like a buttered scone involves some butter I rely on you like an acrobat needs ice cool nerve like a hairpin needs a drastic curve like an HGV needs endless derv like an outside left needs a body swerve I rely on you like a handyman needs pliers like an auctioneer needs buyers like a laundromat needs driers like The Good Life needed Richard Briers I rely on you. What’s Mickey without Minnie? From manticorethegreat.deviantart.com What’s Mickey without Minnie, Or piglet without pooh, What’s Donald without Daisy? That’s me without you. When Ariel Doesn’t sing, and Pooh hates honey, when Tigger stops bouncing, and Goofy isn’t funny. When Peter Pan can’t fly, and Simba never roars, when Alice no longer fits through small doors. When Dumbo’s ears are small, and happily ever after isn’t true, Even then, I won’t stop loving you. I’ll Be There For You by Louise Cuddon I’ll be there my darling, through thick and through thin When your mind’s in a mess and your head’s in a spin When your plane’s been delayed, and you’ve missed the last train. When life is just threatening to drive you insane When your thrilling whodunit has lost its last page When somebody tells you, you’re looking your age When your coffee’s too cool, and your wine is too warm When the forecast said “Fine”, but you’re out in a storm When your quick break hotel, turns into a slum And your holiday photos show only your thumb When you park for five minutes in a resident’s bay And return to discover you’ve been towed away When the jeans that you bought in hope or in haste Just stick on your hips and don’t reach round your waist When the food you most like brings you out in red rashes When as soon as you boot up the bloody thing crashes So my darling, my sweetheart, my dear… When you break a rule, when you act the fool When you’ve got the flu, when you’re in a stew When you’re last in the queue, don’t feel blue ‘cause I’m telling you, I’ll be there. Love Me by Bee Rawlinson Love me when I’m old and shocking Peel off my elastic stockings Swing me from the chandeliers Let’s be randy bad old dears. Push around my chromed bath chair Let me tease your white chest hair Scaring children, swapping dentures Let us have some great adventures Take me to the dogs and bingo Teach me how to speak the lingo Bone my eels and bring me tea Show me how it’s meant to be Take me to your special places Watching all the puzzled faces You in shorts and socks and sandals Me with warts and huge love-handles As the need for love enthrals Wrestle with my damp proof smalls Make me laugh without constraint Buy me chocolate body paint Hold me safe throughout the night When my hair has turned to white Believe me when I say it’s true I’ve waited all my life for you. I Wanna Be Yours by John Cooper Clarke I wanna be your vacuum cleaner breathing in your dust I wanna be your Ford Cortina I will never rust If you like your coffee hot let me be your coffee pot You call the shots I wanna be yours I wanna be your raincoat for those frequent rainy days I wanna be your dreamboat when you want to sail away Let me be your teddy bear take me with you anywhere I don’t care I wanna be yours I wanna be your electric meter I will not run out I wanna be the electric heater you’ll get cold without I wanna be your setting lotion hold your hair in deep devotion Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean that’s how deep is my devotion The gorgeous Irish lilt of this reader was a perfect addition to the ceremony. Reflect your personalities by adding readings to your wedding ceremony. He Never Leaves The Seat Up’ by Anon He never leaves the seat up Or wet towels upon the floor The toothpaste has the lid on And he always shuts the door! She’s very clean and tidy Though she may sometimes delude Leave your things out at your peril In a second they’ll have moved! He’s a very active person As are all his next of kin Whereas she likes lazy days He’ll still drag her to the gym! He romances her and dines her Home-cooked dinners and the like He even knows her favourite food And spoils her day and night! She’s thoughtful when he looks at her A smile upon his face Will he look that good in 50 years When his dentures aren’t in place?! He says he loves her figure And her mental prowess too But when gravity takes her over Will she charm with her IQ? She says she loves his kindness And his patience is a must And of course, she thinks he’s handsome Which in her eyes is a plus! They’re both not wholly perfect But who are we to judge He can be pig-headed Whereas she won’t even budge! All that said and done They love the time they spent together And I hope as I’m sure you do That this fine day will last forever. He’ll be more than just her husband He’ll also be her friend And she’ll be more than just his wife She’ll be his soul mate – till the end. Marriage by Anon Marriage is about giving and taking And forging and forsaking Kissing and loving and pushing and shoving Caring and sharing and screaming and swearing About being together whatever the weather About being driven to the end of your tether About sweetness and kindness And wisdom and blindness It’s about being strong when you’re feeling quite weak It’s about saying nothing when you’re dying to speak It’s about being wrong when you know you are right It’s about giving in, before there’s a fight It’s about you two living as cheaply as one (you can give us a call if you know how that’s done!) Never heeding advice that was always well-meant Never counting the cost until it’s all spent And for you two today it’s about to begin And for all that the two of you had to put in Some days filled with joy, and some days with sadness Too late you’ll discover that marriage is madness. I Like You by Sandol Stoddard Warburg I like you and I know why I like you because you are a good person to like I like you because when I tell you something special, you know it’s special And you remember it a long, long time You say, Remember when you told me something special And both of us remember When I think something is important you think it’s important too We have good ideas When I say something funny, you laugh I think I’m funny and you think I’m funny too Hah-hah! I like you because you know where I’m ticklish And you don’t tickle me there except just a little tiny bit sometimes But if you do, then I know where to tickle you too You know how to be silly – that’s why I like you If I am getting ready to pop a paper bag, then you are getting ready to jump HOORAY I like you because when I am feeling sad You don’t always cheer me up right away Sometimes it is better to be sad You can’t stand the others being so googly and gaggly every single minute You want to think about things It takes time I like you because if I am mad at you Then you are mad at me too It’s awful when the other person isn’t They are so nice and oooh you could just about punch them on the nose I can’t remember when I didn’t like you It must have been lonesome then Even if it was the 999th of July Even if it was August Even if it was way down at the bottom of November I would go on choosing you And you would go on choosing me Over and over again And that’s how it would happen every time. Oh the Places You’ll Go, by Dr. Seuss Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go. You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street. And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too. Oh! The Places You’ll Go! You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights. You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don’t. Because, sometimes, you won’t. I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you. You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch. You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump. And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done. You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win? And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind. You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place…for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting. No! That’s not for you! Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy! Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV. Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t. I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ’cause you’ll play against you. All Alone! Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot. And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on. But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are. You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.) Kid, you’ll move mountains! So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way! Yes, I’ll Marry You, by Pam Ayres Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear, And here’s the reason why; So I can push you out of bed When the baby starts to cry, And if we hear a knocking And it’s creepy and it’s late, I hand you the torch you see, And you investigate. Yes I’ll marry you, my dear, You may not apprehend it, But when the tumble-drier goes It’s you that has to mend it, You have to face the neighbour Should our labrador attack him, And if a drunkard fondles me It’s you that has to whack him. Yes, I’ll marry you, You’re virile and you’re lean, My house is like a pigsty You can help to keep it clean. That sexy little dinner Which you served by candlelight, As I do chipolatas, You can cook it every night! It’s you who has to work the drill and put up curtain track, And when I’ve got PMT it’s you who gets the flak, I do see great advantages, But none of them for you, And so before you see the light, I do, I do, I do!

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding readings The Amber Spyglass – Philip Pulman I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till i find you again… I’ll be looking for you, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one’ll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you… we’ll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams… and when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we’ll be joined so tight… The Art of Marriage – Wilferd Arlan Peterson A good marriage must be created. In the marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once each day, It is never going to sleep angry. It is having a mutual sense of values and objectives. It is standing together and facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each person can grow. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is not only marrying the right person It is being the right partner. To Love is Not to Possess – James Kavanagh To love is not to possess, To own or imprison, Nor to lose one’s self in another. Love is to join and separate, To walk alone and together, To find a laughing freedom That lonely isolation does not permit. It is finally to be able To be who we really are No longer clinging in childish dependency Nor docilely living separate lives in silence, It is to be perfectly one’s self And perfectly joined in permanent commitment To another–and to one’s inner self. Love only endures when it moves like waves, Receding and returning gently or passionately, Or moving lovingly like the tide In the moon’s own predictable harmony, Because finally, despite a child’s scars Or an adult’s deepest wounds, They are openly free to be Who they really are–and always secretly were, In the very core of their being Where true and lasting love can alone abide. The Velveteen Rabbit – Margery Williams “What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?” “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.” “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?” “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” Why Marriage? by Mari Nichols-Haining “Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person, With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body… Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me, Who won’t hold them against me, Who loves me when I’m unlikable, Who sees the small child in me, and Who looks for the divine potential of me… Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night, With someone I feel blessed to hold… Because marriage means opportunity, To grow in love in friendship… Because marriage is a discipline, To be added to a list of achievements… Because marriages do not fail, people fail, When they enter into marriage, Expecting another to make them whole… Because, knowing this, I promise myself to take full responsibility, For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness, I create me, I take half of the responsibility for my marriage, Together we create our marriage… Because with this understanding, The possibilities are limitless.” From Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernières Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. Union by Robert Fulghum You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same. For after today you shall say to the world – This is my husband. This is my wife. I will be here by Steven Curtis Chapman Tomorrow morning if you wake up And the sun does not appear I will be here If in the dark we lose sight of love Hold my hand and have no fear ‘Cause I will be here I will be here When you feel like being quiet When you need to speak your mind I will listen And I will be here When the laughter turns to crying Through the winning, losing and trying We’ll be together ‘Cause I will be here Tomorrow morning if you wake up And the future is unclear I will be here As sure as seasons are made for change Our lifetimes are made for years So I will be here I will be here And you can cry on my shoulder When the mirror tells us we’re older I will hold you And I will be here To watch you grow in beauty And tell you all the things you are to me I will be here I will be true to the promise I have made To you and to the One who gave you to me And just as sure as seasons are made for change Our lifetimes are made for years So I will be here From Les Miserables The future belongs far more to the heart than to the mind. Love is the one thing that can fill and fulfill eternity. The infinite calls for the inexhaustible. Love partakes of the soul, being of the same nature. Like the soul, it is the divine spark, incorruptible, indivisible, imperishable. It is the fiery particle that dwells in us, immortal and infinite, which nothing can confine and nothing extinguish. We feel its glow in the marrow of our bones and see its brightness reaching to the depths of heaven. Oh, love, adoration, the rapture of two spirits which know each other, two hearts which are exchanged, two looks which interpenetrate! You will come to me, will you not, this happiness! To walk together in solitude! Blessed and radiant days! I have sometimes thought that now and then moments my be detached from the lives of angels to enrich the lives of men. God can add nothing to the happiness of those who love except to make it unending. After a lifetime of love an eternity of love is indeed an increase. Nikki is a professional Wedding and Funeral Celebrant based between Sussex and Malaga in Spain. She specialises in handwritten, bespoke wedding ceremonies conducted in her couples chosen location and has built a 5 star reputation on going the extra mile. Using the mantra that ‘there are no rules with a celebrant-led wedding’, she works closely with couples to create ceremonies which celebrate their love story – traditional or not, religious or not, spiritual or not, starting every ceremony as a blank page and creating something truly unique and using her skills as a writer and creative.