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Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding ceremony rituals: bespoke rituals created for you. I first conducted a Rose Ceremony at Susanne & Jacob’s ceremony. Being Danish, all the things which we consider to be part of a traditional ceremony in the UK, were not de rigeur! No ring exchange, no vows, no readings …. Read more about Susanne & Jacob’s ceremony on my real life ceremony blog Hence, having established that Susanne’s favourite book was The Little Prince, I read the passage where the fox talks about nurturing his rose garden and how, like a relationship, the more you put into it, the stronger it becomes. This lead beautifully to a rose ceremony Handwritten ceremonies to celebrate your love story. During Mary & Mike’s ceremony, they had decided that they would like a rose ceremony as Mike had proposed in rose petals. It was a beautiful addition and which lead beautifully on from the poem ‘Love is a Beautiful Thing’. Each and every ceremony I write is unique and based on getting to know you, your story and what you want from your ceremony. In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing, it meant the words, ‘I love you’. So, it is appropriate that for a first gift as husband and wife, that gift would be a single rose. There are so many ideas for bespoke wedding ceremony elements – read more about some of my real life ceremonies on that section of my blog

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding ceremony rituals: bespoke rituals created for you. A sand ceremony is very popular in Southern Spain. It is just one of many rituals which can be included in your Celebrant ceremony. Include children, godchildren, nephews, nieces, parents, grandparents. The Wedding sand ceremony symbolises the joining together of two people or two families into one new family. It is a simple idea that can be incredibly powerful. Typically, each person has a different coloured sand and takes turns pouring it into one clear vessel, forming a layered effect. Perhaps you are bringing together two cultures and might want to include sand from your place of birth. If you have travelled, you may want to include some sand from significant places. Maybe just you the couple participate, or maybe your children or parents join in with their own coloured sand, adding to the layers, expressing the blending of the family. There are no rules with a celebrant ceremony – we create a ceremony that is unique to you. The sand ceremony is based on the unity candle ceremony where a bride and groom light a central candle from their own flames. However, with a candle, the flame eventually will blow out. The advantage of the sand ceremony is that there remain a lasting momento to display in your home. Sand is also a better choice for a wedding outside as wind is less of a concern than it is with a candle. I will write special words for you and a piece of music can be chosen to play during the ceremony. A beautiful keepsake of your special day A beautiful sand ceremony kit which can be engraved below, however, there are many options on Etsy and Amazon. https://www.confetti.co.uk/shop/product/heart-shaped-sand-ceremony-vase-set?gclid=CjwKCAiA4OvhBRAjEiwAU2FoJahMmWxacwn4lLJaZM6E1wfzfJfap0lVDG-3gyUBzzPO7_tLhZO9qhoCZ_MQAvD_BwE

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding ceremony rituals: bespoke rituals created for you. This is the perfect ritual to include if you share a love of wine! Perhaps there is a story to tell about your meeting, proposal or other significant event – perhaps the proposal in a vineyard? Enjoy your first toast as husband and wife. A wine ceremony ritual can be a lovely addition to your ceremony. Historically, in many cultures and traditions, the sharing of the wine has been used as a universal and central moment of sharing. Love wine? Enjoy your first toast as husband and wife! Wine, sometimes thought of as symbolic of life, with its sweet flavours of love, joy, wonder and contentment and bitter elements of pain and sadness. It has been called the symbol of life, like blood flowing within our bodies. In a moment of sharing, the two of you become one, the parts become whole, two paths intertwined, each separate, yet united in love. A wine ritual symbolises two individuals coming together to share one life and one love. A moment of using a loving cup for miracles and filling it with forgiveness, understanding and appreciation. Met drinking mojito cocktails? I created a bespoke ritual for this lovely couple likening each ingredient to their relationship. What about a Mojito ceremony or your favourite tipple? I can design a ritual around that and based around your own story.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding ceremony rituals: bespoke rituals created for you. Without doubt, one of my most popular rituals, a handfasting ritual is believed to originate from old Pagan custom dating back to the ancient Celts. In ceremonies today, it is used as a ritual to bind a couples hands together during their ceremony and can be carried out either before, during or after reciting wedding vows. It is often used to symbolise connection and devotion to one another. This ancient tradition is a lovely addition to your bespoke wedding ceremony. Each bespoke handfasting I have written is unique and can also be a way to include children or extended family members. I love that each one is written and created entirely to suit your particular relationship. It is highly symbolic of the bond is already shared and the tie of commitment which you make to one another during the ceremony. The fastening of hands is steeped in tradition and magical meaning and it is believed that it is where the saying ‘tying the knot’ originates from. The perfect addition to your bespoke wedding ceremony If you choose this ritual, I will send you a list of colours and their meanings. You could choose from a wide range of beautiful ribbons and fastenings and the colour choices are made to suit each individual circumstance. Perhaps to suit your wedding colour theme, maybe you have children you wish to include in the ceremony and they could choose their colour, maybe you have parents or step parents you would like to give a special role to. Within your bespoke ceremony – the choice is always yours. There are no ‘compulsory’ elements, because each ceremony I write is all unique and written especially for you

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding ceremony rituals: bespoke rituals created for you. Hugely popular with my couples, is a Ring Warming. Designed to include your guests from the outset, I seat everyone a couple of minutes earlier than normal and instruct them that the rings will be passed between them in order that they can imbue them with a special wish or blessing for your marriage. Include your guests from the outset and have them hold your rings and imbue them with a wish for your marriage. It can be a really lovely way to include everyone from the outset and I later refer to the rings holding their wishes when you come to exchange them A very important job as a ring bearer! Another way is to include your small guests as Ring Security putting them in charge of ensuring that the rings pass through your guests. Your rings will hold the wishes of all your guests when you exchange them. There are a fabulous number of possible ways to hold the rings whilst they pass between your guests including: shells, small ring boxes, ribbons, cushions and so on. More suggestions can be found on my Pinterest page www.pinterest.com/costacelebrant.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding ceremony rituals: bespoke rituals created for you. Fancy a little Celtic twist to your ceremony – you don’t have to be Scottish to enjoy a Quaich ritual! Sometimes known as a loving cup A Quaich is an ancient two handled, Scottish drinking which derives its name derives from the Scottish Gaelic ‘cuach’ meaning a cup. There are all types of ‘Quaich’ – mostly have two short, handles, but they might have three or four. They were traditionally made from wood, but could also be made from stone, brass, pewter, horn, or silver. The Quaich, or ‘Love Cup’ ceremony is used by two families or clans, to celebrate a bond, with each leader sharing the offered drink. Together we choose the elements that are right for you. At a wedding, traditionally the ritual involves the couple, each sipping from a Quaich which would usually be filled with scotch whisky (of course) but other drinks such as wine may be used in substitute, or even combined to symbolise the union of two into one. The Quaich may also be used for the first toast as a couple, at the reception and may be engraved with the names of the couple along with the date of marriage. It could also be passed amongst the guests so they can all share a drink from it.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding ceremony rituals: bespoke rituals created for you. The ancient Spanish wedding tradition of Las Arras can help you inject a taste of Spain into your ceremony. Exchange coins as part of the traditional Spanish wedding ritual of Las Arras Said by some to date back to biblical times and others to the times when a dowry was given, the exchange of 13 coins is today used as a commitment Ritual. Couples can choose to bring coins from where they come from, where they live, where they have travelled or just Euros from here in Spain. Entirely your choice. I write special words of commitment and there are often moments of humour when one or other of the couple would quite like to hang on to the coins!

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Wedding ceremony rituals: bespoke rituals created for you. One of my specialities is creating bespoke rituals based on your culture, heritage, interests, religious beliefs, love of a theme (ie Harry Potter). From a Polish/Irish bespoke ritual which included salt, bread, wine and shots of water and vodka. One of my specialities is creating bespoke rituals based on your culture, heritage, interests, religious beliefs, love of a theme (ie Harry Potter). Ask me more! For a couple whose first holiday and proposal was in South Africa, a 12 Symbols of Life ritual. Ask me Met drinking mojito cocktails? I created a bespoke ritual for this lovely couple likening each ingredient to their relationship. Your bespoke ceremony is absolutely, 100% yours. Your guests will say that they have never been to a ceremony like it: they won’t have – it is totally handwritten for you and these extra special rituals can add another level.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Funerals and End-of-Life Ceremonies I am a trained, professional Funeral Celebrant offering a bespoke service whether that be for your gentle goodbye or a fantastic farewell. An end-of-life ceremony offers you an opportunity to acknowledge your loss and say goodbye I realise how hard it can be to find the words to say your goodbyes or to honour and celebrate a life cut short or well-lived. Memorialise your loved one The first funeral ‘Celebration of Life’ I conducted was that of my Father – the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I work closely with the family to create a personal memorial service. I work with bereaved families to guide and help them through one of life’s hardest moments, helping to create heart-felt farewells and beautiful memorial celebrations. I work closely with the family to create a personal memorial service. With natural empathy, I have a wealth of experience in helping families tell the story of their loved one’s life which is often the first stage in coming to terms with loss and grief. Please get in touch, I will be honoured to help you. You made an awful day so much better for us all. We were in particular delighted with how attentive you clearly were when talking to my Mum and brother about Jim’s life; you spoke our words beautifully yet didn’t make out as if you knew him personally (which is a pet hate of mine at funerals when the person leading the ceremony speaks as though they were best friends with the departed but actually never knew them at all) but explained that this was your impression of him from what they told you… also the cricket poem you read was an absolutely inspired choice. It was a pleasure to meet you, albeit not under the circumstances I would have liked. You were a very calming and soothing presence for us all. Thank you, Nikki.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Funerals and End-of-Life Ceremonies FUNERAL READINGS She Is Gone (He Is Gone) – David Harkins You can shed tears that she is gone Or you can smile because she has lived You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her Or you can be full of the love that you shared You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday You can remember her and only that she is gone Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on. Afterglow – Helen Lowrie Marshall I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one. I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done. I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways, Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days. I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun; Of happy memories that I leave when life is done. Remember Me – Margaret Mead To the living, I am gone, To the sorrowful, I will never return, To the angry, I was cheated, But to the happy, I am at peace, And to the faithful, I have never left. I cannot speak, but I can listen. I cannot be seen, but I can be heard. So as you stand upon a shore gazing at a beautiful sea, As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity, Remember me. Remember me in your heart: Your thoughts, and your memories, Of the times we loved, The times we cried, The times we fought, The times we laughed. For if you always think of me, I will never have gone. Let Me Go – Christina Rossetti When I come to the end of the road And the sun has set for me I want no rites in a gloom filled room Why cry for a soul set free? Miss me a little, but not for long And not with your head bowed low Remember the love that once we shared Miss me, but let me go. For this is a journey we all must take And each must go alone. It’s all part of the master plan A step on the road to home. When you are lonely and sick at heart Go to the friends we know. Laugh at all the things we used to do Miss me, but let me go. To Those Whom I Love & Those Who Love Me – Anon When I am gone, release me, let me go. I have so many things to see and do, You mustn’t tie yourself to me with too many tears, But be thankful we had so many good years. I gave you my love, and you can only guess How much you’ve given me in happiness. I thank you for the love that you have shown, But now it is time I traveled on alone. So grieve for me a while, if grieve you must, Then let your grief be comforted by trust. It is only for a while that we must part, So treasure the memories within your heart. I won’t be far away for life goes on. And if you need me, call and I will come. Though you can’t see or touch me, I will be near. And if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear, All my love around you soft and clear. And then, when you come this way alone, I’ll greet you with a smile and a ‘Welcome Home’. You’ve Just Walked On Ahead of Me – Joyce Grenfell And I’ve got to understand You must release the ones you love And let go of their hand. I try and cope the best I can But I’m missing you so much If I could only see you And once more feel your touch. Yes, you’ve just walked on ahead of me Don’t worry I’ll be fine But now and then I swear I feel Your hand slip into mine. Don’t cry for me – Anon Don’t cry for me now I have died, for I’m still here I’m by your side, My body’s gone but my soul is here, please don’t shed another tear, I am still here I’m all around, only my body lies in the ground. I am the snowflake that kisses your nose, I am the frost, that nips your toes. I am the sun, bringing you light, I am the star, shining so bright. I am the rain, refreshing the earth, I am the laughter, I am the mirth. I am the bird, up in the sky, I am the cloud, that’s drifting by. I am the thoughts, inside your head, While I’m still there, I can’t be dead. Don’t stand at my grave and weep – Mary Frye Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn’s rain. When you awaken in the morning’s hush, I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there. I did not die. Gone but not forgotten – Ellen Brenneman Don’t think of her/him as gone away Her/His journey’s just begun, Life holds so many facets This earth is only one. Just think of her/him as resting From the sorrows and the tears In a place of warmth and comfort Where there are no days and years. Think how she/he must be wishing That we could know today How nothing but our sadness Can really pass away. And think of her/him as living In the hearts of those she/he touched For nothing loved is ever lost And she/he was loved so much. All is well – David Scott Holland Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped into the next room I am I and you are you Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, Speak to me in the easy way which you always used Put no difference in your tone, Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, Just around the corner. All is well. Pardon Me for Not Getting Up – Anon Oh dear, if you’re reading this right now, I must have given up the ghost. I hope you can forgive me for being Such a stiff and unwelcoming host. Just talk amongst yourself my friends, And share a toast or two. For I am sure you will remember well How I loved to drink with you. Don’t worry about mourning me, I was never easy to offend. Feel free to share a story at my expense And we’ll have a good laugh at the end.

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Celebrant Information The couples I work with go to the Register Office office to be legally wed before or after their Wedding Ceremony with me. The signing of the legal paperwork, a standard Register Office ceremony, is typically 6 minutes long and involves you saying the legal wording and signing a marriage certificate with two witnesses present – it’s the paperwork that makes it legal, not the ceremony. Traditionally we exchange rings during a wedding ceremony. I have many other suggestions if you choose not to. This means that you are then free to have a bespoke Celebrant-led wedding ceremony in the venue of your choosing. The beauty of a celebrant-led wedding is that there are no rules – traditional or not, spiritual or not, religious or not – you are free to celebrate your unique love story in the way that you want to do so. I work closely with my couples, I want to know your story, what your interests are, the ‘how you met’ story, when the proposal happened. Every element is handwritten, working closely with you, I find quotes to suit your relationship, I suggest elements to add an extra level of personalisation. If your guests tell me that they have never been to a ceremony like it before, they won’t have, it has been especially written for you and will create lasting memories. Why settle for an ‘off-the-shelf’ ceremony, when you can have a bespoke ceremony?

Ceremonies by Nikki Kulin, Costa Celebrant - Celebrant Information IT IS STILL A QUESTION I GET ASKED REGULARLY! Having a Celebrant wedding means that you can have exactly the Wedding Ceremony you dreamed of. So what makes a Celebrant ceremony different? LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION! You really can have your ceremony wherever you want it to be! Without the ties of having to used a licensed venue, your ceremony can happen exactly where you want it to be. As a Celebrant ceremony is not restricted to being in the registered venue’s licensed room, or under a fixed or permanent structure, it can literally be held anywhere! It really is limited only by your imagination! Indoors, outdoors, cliff top, field, woodland, beach, car park or back garden – it is absolutely your choice! Because couples who opt for a Celebrant wedding sign their legal documents separately (mine often in a lunch break), the options are endless and can truly help you create the best Wedding Ceremony for you. With me as a Celebrant, there are no rules. It really is limited only by your imagination! Indoors, outdoors, cliff top, field, woodland, beach, car park or back garden – it is absolutely your choice! Because couples who opt for a Celebrant wedding sign their legal documents separately (mine often in a lunch break), the options are endless and can truly help you create the best Wedding Ceremony for you. PERSONALISE YOUR DAY! One of the truly unique parts of a Celebrant led wedding with me is that I literally start each ceremony as a blank page! With a tried and tested method, I have devised methods to really get to know you, and what you want from your Wedding Ceremony. Every element is individually designed and handwritten for you. You get to see the draft and make any changes and it is one of the exciting things for me is seeing how thrilled my couples are and how excited they are to share their ceremony with their guests! INCLUDE A PERSONALISED RITUAL This is your wedding ceremony! Why be the same as everyone else? Escape traditions and let me help you create something really unique. I create bespoke rituals for my couples who wish to include one. From a unique handfasting to a bespoke Mojito ritual – I love creating ceremony elements that will make your day memorable, unique and truly awesome! There are no rules with a celebrant ceremony – we create a ceremony that is unique to you. This ancient tradition is a lovely addition to your bespoke wedding ceremony. YOUR WEDDING VOWS My couples often tell me that they wouldn’t know where to start when writing wedding vows. They really don’t have to worry! I have come up with the perfect method of helping them create truly unique vows and promises which are meaningful, sentimental and with a touch of humour. Bespoke wedding ceremony MIX UP THE TRADITIONS! If you don’t want to exchange rings, don’t. If you don’t want to have readings, don’t! Who says flower girls have to be little? Who says you can’t dance down the aisle? Why can’t guests be included in the ceremony? Want a religious reading or hymn? Love Harry Potter, Star Wars or Friends? With a Celebrant ceremony, anything and everything goes! There is nothing I like more than finding out about your culture, heritage, interests and hobbies and creating bespoke elements and suggesting themes, quotes or readings! A great example is S & J’s ceremony. This Danish couple started by telling me that, in their culture, they don’t exchange rings or say vows and that having anybody read would seem cheesy in their culture. Exchange coins: from your country of origin, from your travels, historical/family heirlooms – there are no rules with a celebrant wedding ceremony. A rose exchange ceremony: the perfect addition to a Danish wedding ceremony in Spain So, having discovered that S loved children’s literature and that her favourite book was The Little Prince, I started by reading an extract where the fox talks about nurturing the roses in his garden and how, much like a relationship, the more you put in, the more the roses thrive.This lead onto a beautiful rose exchange ceremony – their first gift as husband and wife.I was also contacted by a guest who asked if he could sing and play the guitar as a surprise which, of course, the couple absolutely loved.It was truly beautiful, bespoke and memorable WHAT TO EXPECT ON THE DAY WITH ME AS YOUR CELEBRANT! In the weeks and months leading up to your ceremony, we will be in regular touch, not just to help me write your ceremony but in discussing all the fine details. We will talk through the choreography, where you will stand, who will be involved and so on. Even my most anxious of couples say how they feel so much calmer with me on board, knowing that I will be prepared for every eventuality on the day itself. I usually plan to arrive at your venue 90 minutes ahead of the ceremony itself in order to liaise with venue staff, photographers etc and set up my equipment. I will also visit you if you are on site to calm last minute nerves and make sure everyone is ok. Beach wedding ceremony I will have all the finer details covered and, because the day is yours exclusively, there is no rush if things aren’t running exactly to time. Your ceremony will set the tone for the rest of the day and there is nothing I like more than when guests tell me that they have never been to a ceremony like it before; they won’t have because YOUR ceremony is one of a kind! THE LEGALITIES OF A CELEBRANT LED WEDDING CEREMONY! Did you know that 86% of Weddings in the UK are now non-religious? A growing number of those are now choosing Celebrant led weddings. Why? In the same way that we don’t associate registering a birth or death with its respective ceremony, why should you have to ‘do the legals’ at the same time? Your rings will hold the wishes of all your guests when you exchange them. Because a Wedding Celebrant can’t legally register a marriage at the present time, many of my couples opt to visit the Register Office in a lunch break or just with two witnesses in order to enjoy the awesome, bespoke Wedding Ceremony they want, with me as their Celebrant, in the location of their choice. WHY CHOOSE ME AS YOUR CELEBRANT? It is very important that you have a team to support you in the lead up to your day who you trust and these are my top tips when choosing your Celebrant: Connection – I work very closely with my couples, in parallel with a Wedding Planner if there is one – and have regular contact in the weeks and months leading up to the wedding. It is very important that you feel a connection and know that your Celebrant is someone you like and feel comfortable with. Check out my introductory video on my You Tube channel which explains more about my method and approach or contact me to arrange an initial video call on 07802 414967. Training – I initially trained with the Fellowship of Professional Celebrants and as a writer and English graduate, bring many skills to my work as a Celebrant. I now also train new Celebrants as part of the Institute of Professional Celebrants team and constantly undertake CPD. Check out your Celebrant’s training and accreditations. Price – There are many different prices. My advice would be check what you are getting for the money. I still hear, ‘Oh that seems a lot for 30 minutes work’. There are Celebrants out there who offer you a choice of 3 set scripts, much like a Registrar, and then arrive on the day. That is absolutely not the way I work. I work closely with you in the weeks and months leading up to your ceremony. We meet either in person or virtually and you have access to me whilst I create your ceremony. I do 75% of my work in research, writing and creating your ceremony before your day itself. Mini-Vetting – Have a look at my social media, check out my awards and look at my reviews and recommendations. www.facebook.com/costacelebrant www.google.com/costacelebrant www.instagram.com/costacelebrant Insurance – check to ensure that insurance is in place.